Riding for Positivity

Himmat on a typical morning.

If there is one genuine morning person in our house its Himmat.  He wakes up with a smile and hug no matter how early it is, and most days is ready a couple of hours before he has to leave for school.  In our normal routine he is in my bathroom while I am tying my turban waiting for me to finish so I can tie his patka (small turban).  Normally during this time, we talk and discuss what happened yesterday or other things on his mind.  Mainly how much ‘electronics’ time he may get when he gets home, or what we plan to play outside.

For those who don’t know Himmat, his personality is truly positive.  He lives for the moment, never worrying about tomorrow or consequences.  He is the kid you would want to have as your best friend, loyal, caring and fun loving.  He’s not the youngest but he is the real child in our family.

Today was no different in our routine but in the morning conversation he told me its Bike to school day today.

“Daddy I’m going to ride my bike to school today” he said with a big smile on his face.  

Being the adult, I immediately responded with “You don’t have a chain, so maybe next year”

“What’s a chain?” he asked

“You put it on your bike, so it stays in place” I told him still concentrating on getting my turban right, its easy to have a bad turban day if you are distracted.

“Oh I have a kick stand so my bike will stay in its place” his big smile was back thinking he solved the issue.

“No, that’s not what I meant, the chain is so you can chain your bike with a lock, so nobody steals it” I’m a bit annoyed that he doesn’t even know what a chain is, at this point.

“Why would someone want to take my bike?”

“I don’t know, but if it doesn’t have a chain then the possibility is greater that someone can steal it if they want to”  I responded, trying to make him think logically.

“If they take my bike, then I won’t have a bike” I looked back at him through the mirror, his smile was gone and a concerned look took over his face.

As I finished my turban, he sat behind me on the tub, with a serious look.  I realized what I had just done, taken his innocence and trust in humanity away with a simple statement about a bike chain!

His whole body slumped and as I called him to stand in front of me to do his turban he walked slowly, of course I don’t know what he was thinking but my guess was his shattered trust that his bike would be safe outside his school the whole day without a chain was weighing heavy on him.

As I looked at him from the mirror his face reminded me of a face I have seen on every adult.  The face of worry, the face of stress, the face of distrust.  Within a matter of seconds, I had changed his optimistic morning to a negative one.  With my own attitude, my own distrust of humanity.  I had passed on unwillingly a stress about society and how we have to be constantly vigilant to a child who looked at the world optimistically.  As adults we have had experience, of course we have had good experiences along with the bad, but we normally use our common sense rooted in bad experiences, which cause us to be overly cautious and skeptical of humanity.

“You know what, why don’t you just take the bike to school” I said, trying to sound positive.

“But what if it gets stolen? What if someone takes it?” He responded with the same logic I had planted in his brain.

“Then we will get you a new one, you will out grow this one eventually anyways” As I said this I saw his eyes begin to light up again.

“What do you think the chances are that someone will take it?” He asked.

“I don’t know the chances, I mean most likely it will be fine, but even in worst case, you ride/walk back home and we will get you another bike, don’t worry about it” I was finishing up his turban at this point.

His body language changed he started telling me his plans to call his cousin and tell them he is riding his bike if they want to join.

Before I let him go down for breakfast, I told him something I was silently reminding myself.

People are mostly good, and even if there are some bad ones don’t let them ruin your perception of others.  When bad things happen, we can figure out a solution, so don’t stress it and do what you feel is right.

A small lesson for me this morning not to be pessimistic and remember that humanity is worthy of trust.  We just have to dig deeper sometimes and remember the times that people assisted us, or came through for us to understand that the positive experiences actually outnumber the negative ones.

And finally, one of my relatives who knows Himmat really well sent me a unexpected whatsapp message this morning:

“Good Morning Everyone. I’m having my Himmat moment - Love you all and a big hug from me to all of you for having beautiful children and being beautiful people who have always been there for me.  Happy Everyday.”

Yes, we are truly blessed, in so many ways if we open our eyes/minds to acknowledge it.  Thank you Himmat for being that positive energy that reminds me life is not only about logic, but an unconditional trust that the universe has a way of making things work out in the end.

Slow Motion

As humans we have the tendency to look at what we don’t have.  All around us are better things, more comfort, flashy, larger, roomier, advance etc. etc.  The never-ending list and cycle of wants.

We look at life and rate ourselves either by our possessions or by our accomplishments, but none of these truly bring us peace or satisfaction.  This is not really anything new, deep within us we know this to be true.  We have never been as happy as we were when we were children, before the competition and meaning to do something to make our mark in this world overtook us.  Back then we were just happy marking chalk on the sidewalk, or fingers in the sand, just that much was enough.

When we grow up do we really grow down?  We learn but in that learning we refuse to see the truth about ourselves.  We hide behind complexities which we ourselves do not understand.  If we come off too simple then we get judged as naïve, too complex then we get judged as clever.  In this battle of extremes our desires, wants and needs are clouded.  Clouded by not only what we want but what is expected, what is around us, and sadly what is fed to us.

In moments of silence and stillness we discover within us there is something else.  Within us there is the complete experience that even if its for moments at a time its calling on us to feel fulfilled.

This feeling gets replicated, when we feel love.  I have found that moments of meditation are very similar to moments where you feel unconditional love for others.  The challenge is to unconditionally love yourself in the same manner.  That would be the key to living not for the external but internal peace.

Last night before putting the kids to bed they begin cuddling with my wife, it became a picture moment.  As I watched them hugging and giggling into this line of sitting on laps for a moment I felt that unconditional love I have for everyone there.  Its in those moments that you see some major clarities and can comprehend the deep truth.  Nothing really matters, the only thing we can really give is love, the only thing we can get is love.  It is our misunderstanding that we can give or receive anything more. 

The mirage of illusion we seek to matter, we seek to fill ourselves with experiences, or some accomplishments that we strive for, only to feel empty every goal we make reality.  There is nothing to accomplish but love.  There is no where to go, there is no greater experience or destination.  It can be had at every moment if we catch that chance. 

They are very sensitive instants that happen quickly, so we miss them, because we are focused on the wrong things.  Slowing down is seen as counterproductive but living fast we rarely produce anything worth acknowledging.  However, just as in sports, it is only in slow motion that we can make the right call, its only in slow motion that we can see clearly, and it is only in slow motion that we can capture the most important moments that life has to offer.